Book 15 Chapter 5 | |
1 | dhṛtarāṣṭra uvāca |
1 | viditaṃ bhavatām etad yathā vṛttaḥ kurukṣayaḥ
mamāparādhāt tat sarvam iti jñeyaṃ tu kauravāḥ |
2 | yo 'haṃ duṣṭamatiṃ mūḍhaṃ jñātīnāṃ bhayavardhanam
duryodhanaṃ kauravāṇām ādhipatye 'bhyaṣecayam |
3 | yac cāhaṃ vāsudevasya vākyaṃ nāśrauṣam arthavat
vadhyatāṃ sādhv ayaṃ pāpaḥ sāmātya iti durmatiḥ |
4 | putrasnehābhibhūtaś ca hitam ukto manīṣibhiḥ
vidureṇātha bhīṣmeṇa droṇena ca kṛpeṇa ca |
5 | pade pade bhagavatā vyāsena ca mahātmanā
saṃjayenātha gāndhāryā tad idaṃ tapyate 'dya mām |
6 | yac cāhaṃ pāṇḍuputreṇa guṇavatsu mahātmasu
na dattavāñ śriyaṃ dīptāṃ pitṛpaitāmahīm imām |
7 | vināśaṃ paśyamāno hi sarvarājñāṃ gadāgrajaḥ
etac chreyaḥ sa paramam amanyata janārdanaḥ |
8 | so 'ham etāny alīkāni nivṛttāny ātmanaḥ sadā
hṛdaye śalyabhūtāni dhārayāmi sahasraśaḥ |
9 | viśeṣatas tu dahyāmi varṣaṃ pañcadaśaṃ hi vai
asya pāpasya śuddhyarthaṃ niyato 'smi sudurmatiḥ |
10 | caturthe niyate kāle kadā cid api cāṣṭame
tṛṣṇāvinayanaṃ bhuñje gāndhārī veda tan mama |
11 | karoty āhāram iti māṃ sarvaḥ parijanaḥ sadā
yudhiṣṭhirabhayād vetti bhṛśaṃ tapyati pāṇḍavaḥ |
12 | bhūmau śaye japyaparo darbheṣv ajinasaṃvṛtaḥ
niyamavyapadeśena gāndhārī ca yaśasvinī |
13 | hataṃ putraśataṃ śūraṃ saṃgrāmeṣv apalāyinam
nānutapyāmi tac cāhaṃ kṣatradharmaṃ hi taṃ viduḥ ity uktvā dharmarājānam abhyabhāṣata kauravaḥ |
14 | bhadraṃ te yādavīmātar vākyaṃ cedaṃ nibodha me
sukham asmy uṣitaḥ putra tvayā suparipālitaḥ |
15 | mahādānāni dattāni śrāddhāni ca punaḥ punaḥ
prakṛṣṭaṃ me vayaḥ putra puṇyaṃ cīrṇaṃ yathābalam gāndhārī hataputreyaṃ dhairyeṇodīkṣate ca mām |
16 | draupadyā hy apakartāras tava caiśvaryahāriṇaḥ
samatītā nṛśaṃsās te dharmeṇa nihatā yudhi |
17 | na teṣu pratikartavyaṃ paśyāmi kurunandana
sarve śastrajitāṃl lokān gatās te 'bhimukhaṃ hatāḥ |
18 | ātmanas tu hitaṃ mukhyaṃ pratikartavyam adya me
gāndhāryāś caiva rājendra tad anujñātum arhasi |
19 | tvaṃ hi dharmabhṛtāṃ śreṣṭhaḥ satataṃ dharmavatsalaḥ
rājā guruḥ prāṇabhṛtāṃ tasmād etad bravīmy aham |
20 | anujñātas tvayā vīra saṃśrayeyaṃ vanāny aham
cīravalkalabhṛd rājan gāndhāryā sahito 'nayā tavāśiṣaḥ prayuñjāno bhaviṣyāmi vanecaraḥ |
21 | ucitaṃ naḥ kule tāta sarveṣāṃ bharatarṣabha
putreṣv aiśvaryam ādhāya vayaso 'nte vanaṃ nṛpa |
22 | tatrāhaṃ vāyubhakṣo vā nirāhāro 'pi vā vasan
patnyā sahānayā vīra cariṣyāmi tapaḥ param |
23 | tvaṃ cāpi phalabhāk tāta tapasaḥ pārthivo hy asi
phalabhājo hi rājānaḥ kalyāṇasyetarasya vā |